As Seen On T.V.: Slap-Chop

Brought to you by Vince the ShamWow guy, this chopping kitchen utensil promises simple chopping efficiency. All you’re supposed to have to do is slap the switch, and it chops!

Unfortunately, this is all a lie.

Slap Chop fails to do as it is advertised. First of all, the device is cumbersome to use. It is large, ungainly, and awkward in shape. Secondly, this utensil is really very dull. The blade isn’t very sharp, so, in order to get it to cut anything, you have to press your full weight down on the device.

Tested on celery, Slap Chop is unable to cut through very well. It leaves a crushed, but not cut, mess of uneven chunks. There’s no way you’re going to be able to make a salad out of that junk.

When used on a tomato, Slap Chop squashes the fruit (or vegetable) without really making much of a cut, leaving a bloody red mess on your cutting board. If you’re looking to make salsa, look somewhere else.

The Slap Chop commercial claims that the contraption can cut onions while leaving the skin intact. Obviously, this is a sham. When tested, Slap Chop fails to perform as promoted. After pressing down with massive force, it only manages to pierce the onion’s skin and get stuck, damaging the blade in the process.

The only thing Slap Chop is really good for is pulverizing nuts and crackers into very small chunks. If you’re looking for a $20 crumb-maker, you’ve found the right product.

Does it work? No.

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